dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
