I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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