Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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