just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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