Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
