I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
