why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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