Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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