I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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