if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
