i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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