The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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