if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
