idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
