So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What drink are we having for lunch?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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