I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
