Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
