they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
