these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
