I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize