She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
