So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
