Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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