he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
