I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize