I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
