i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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