lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
