If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
