Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize