Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?