Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha

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(312): View more from Illinois

How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.

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(219): View more from Indiana

My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.

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(636): View more from Missouri

I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.

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