um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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