is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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