Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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