O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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