hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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