My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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