i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
