I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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