So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize