Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize