the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
