There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
