If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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