her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Swine flu is the new snow day.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
