Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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