last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
