is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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