Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
