After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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