I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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