I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
