why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize