Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
