I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
