so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
