He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
