the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm just crazy horny about you
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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