Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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