69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
